Emotional basket case = Laura

We only have 48 hours until we leave for Playa del Carmen and I'm an absolute MESS! I'm so nervous about leaving John....I can't sleep, I've had a headache for 3 days, and I've made myself sick to my stomach!

Yesterday I typed out a medical consent letter, giving both sets of grandparents permission to make medical decisions on our behalf....I CRIED!!! I seriously cried big ole' crocodile tears! (I'm typing this now and starting to get a little teary eyed...sheesh!)



I remember my mom crying when I would go visit my grandparents in Colorado for the summer. And I remember thinking to myself, how silly it was for her to cry! WELL now I understand! She totally had a reason to cry too....she put me on a plane by myself! Of course things were different back then but still! I can't even imagine!

So I'm sitting at work, taking very deep breaths and attempting to talk myself down from this anxiety high! I think I may go do some last minute Mexico trip shopping at lunch! Maybe that will help!

Loving some Bob!

John and I went to my parents for the 4th of July for a quick visit. I took this picture of Johnny with my dad's dog, Bob(yes, my dad named him).

Bob was a stray my dad found at a busy intersection in Tyler. He looked for the owner but noone claimed him so he kept him. This dog has become my dad's best friend. He goes everywhere with him. It's funny, b/c if you know my dad, you know how big and burly he is(regular guy's guy) and to see him with this little dog, is quite comical!

Needless to say John loves him some Bob too!

The Mexico countdown begins....

9 days until Tim and I leave for Playa del Carmen and I am so so so excited! And while the excitement is abudant...the anxiety level is slowly increasing! Now why on earth would I be anxious, you ask? Well possibly because this is the first time I will have left John for longer than a weekend and I hate flying(ironic, how I interviewed to be a flight attendent, huh?)!

I'm not worried about John so much, he'll be in good hands with my parents. It's more about me! I won't know what to do with myself....6 days without him is a LONG time! I'm guessing though that the never ending free alcohol will help me get through it!

The flying part....I don't know if anything can be done to help that besides Xanax and I don't have any! I'm just gonna have to suck it up and fly!

Sheesh, I sound like an alcoholic, pill popper....

I'm really looking forward to this little vacation. Tim has never been to Mexico and the last time I went, I was 18, on my senior trip. And what's sad is that the last real vacation Tim and I took was our honeymoon....6 years ago!! We are long overdue!!

ARRIBA!

Weekend of "Inspiration"

As you read on my last post, I have been overwhelmed with inspiration lately. So this weekend I put my inspiration to work. I didn't get as much accomplished as I hoped but overall I'm very satisfied!

Saturday morning was my first Zumba class....WOW! It was amazing, FUN and hard!! My girlfriend, Susan, was so gracious to accompany me. The teacher is this cute little Brazilian lady and all the students with the exception of an older gentleman and us were latin. Talk about major "white girl complex"! These women just naturally know how to move their bodies! They pop their hips and shake their booties with such confidence. I'm so envious! I felt like a total moron but laughed my white booty off!! It was fun fun fun! Sunday, I was definitely feeling the effects! I'm so sore but it's a good sore, right? Tonight is class #2 and I'm flying solo. But I'm super excited and ready to find my inner latina!!

John swam most of the weekend. He's become quite the little swimmer these days! Saturday night we went down to our neighbors house to watch the MMA fight on pay per view. Tim loves that stuff...I personally can't stand to watch grown men beat the living tar out of each other but I'm a chick and I guess I'm not supposed to like it! While Tim was watching the pre-fights, John and I went outside to jump on their trampoline. He loves to jump and he's super cute doing it! He told Tim that he wants a "tamp-O-line"...emphasis on the O!

Sunday we had brunch at Denny's with Poppy & Grandma and then headed home for naps! There is nothing better than a Sunday nap on a full belly!

After naps, I was able to mow a large portion of our property on the riding lawn mower while Tim took care of the grass aka "carpet" near the house with the push lawn mower (his part is way harder). I actually enjoy mowing the grass on occasion. I get good sun and feel like I'm accomplishing something all while sitting on my butt! What's better than that?

I was able to clean and reorganize around the house. I still have a lot to do but it's getting there. I'm hoping to have most of the items on my "inspiration list" completed by the end of summer! Just hope I don't loose my mojo!

Inspiration surrounds ME

Lately, I've found myself completely inspired! Inspired to get fit, inspired to redecorate/organize and inspired to be more creative. And by golly, I plan on following through with all this inspiration!!!

Inspiration #1 - Getting fit and healthy
I'm constantly looking for ways to exercise. I've done the gym thing, pre-John and did awesome about going but post John...forget about it!!! I really enjoy yoga but b/c of my work schedule it's nearly impossible to find a class that will work. Plus it's expensive! I even talked Tim into buying me an elliptical machine and promised I'd use it every night....I've maybe used it 5 times, oops. Let's be honest here, I hate working out!!! The only exercise I've ever LOVED was dancing! That's right dancing! I started dancing at age 4. The Dance Gallery in Tyler was were I spent almost every night of the week, up until 10th grade. Then I tried out for my high school drill team...the award winning Robert E. Lee Southern Belles! I loved loved loved drill team!!! I made some of the best friends I ever had there all while getting an awesome workout. Here's where the inspiration part comes in...my BFF Brandy, aka "Potter", decided to take an adult hip hop class. Mind you she lives in London. So I thought, hell if she can go to a dance class at age 32 in London, I can certainly go to one here in The Woodlands/Conroe. I researched the web and much to my dismay, there is only one studio in the area that offers adult classes and it's tap. Argh! After a couple more hours of research on the web (yes, I was at work) I found Zumba! You may have seen the infomercials on TV for the dvd's but they actually offer classes too. Now it's not a full fledged dance class but it's taught in routines...so close enough! Just in case you don't know what Zumba is, http://www.zumba.com/us/. So I've coaxed my friend, Susan (another Drill teamer, Conroe Golden Girls) into coming with me! I'm hoping to get in shape all while re-living my glory, dancing days!!!

Inspiration #2 - Redecorate/Organize
Over the 4th of July holiday, I went home to Tyler and met up with a long time friend, Kerri Baker Seamands. She just finished building a new house....I had to go and see it! And in true Kerri fashion, her house was faboulous! Everything had it's place and all the decor was just beautiful! (shout out to Red Barn Floral & Gifts) Again here's where the inspiration comes to play....seeing how beautifully decorated her house was, made me want to make some changes in my own abode. So I made a list!!! I listed everything that I wanted completed or changed, who should be responsible for the task, i.e. Tim or myself, and a due date. The list now has over 50 items and it's still growing. I plan on starting this weekend and hope to complete at least 5 items. Wish me luck!!

Inspiration #3 - Get the creative juices flowing again
Somewhere along the road of life, I lost my creativity. Well maybe not lost it but it certainly seems to have been on a hiatus. But not anymore.... I'm bound and determined to revive it!!! I plan to start painting again. I don't claim to be any good but I do enjoy slapping some acrylic to a good ole canvas. I'm also planning on getting back in touch with my sewing machine. There's just no reason why I can't make some of the things I pay so much money for, such as throw pillows, shams, etc. Maybe after some practice, I'll feel confident enough to attempt to sew some drapes. Lord knows my windows need something! One big task, that I HAVE to work on is completing John's baby book. I feel like the worst mother in the world b/c he's now 3 and I think I've maybe completed his first 6 weeks! Yikes...so once the creative juices start up, that's #1 on the list!

I'm so grateful to have come to these realizations because I really really needed it. I've felt pretty stagnant the past year or so and I think that when you feel stagnant you feel old! And I don't plan on being old anytime soon!!! So those are my inspiration filled goals! What has or is inspiring you you???

"I don't wanna talk about it"

I picked John up from school yesterday as I do everyday....So we get in the car and start to head home. I always ask him how his day was and if he had fun. Well today, he simply looked at me and said, " I don't wanna talk about it!".....WHAT? I kinda sat there for a second trying to process what he just said to me....then I just replied, "okay, I'll leave you alone". Where on earth did he learn such a grown up phrase and then to use it in the correct context....he's a smart little booger!!

I have to admit that my feelings were a little hurt! :( When did my precious baby boy start growing up???? He's become such a little boy, it blows my mind! I still catch myself referring to him in coversations as "the baby"!!! I should probably work on that, huh?

I guess the hard part is realizing that he doesn't need me as much anymore. When their infants their entire world depends on you and then one day they're 3 1/2 and make statements like, "I don't wanna talk about it"! That's hard on a mom....especially this mom!!

I'd like to think, that it will get easier as he gets older but I can already tell I think I'm gonna need counseling!

My heart & soul